Love like you've never been hurt.

While I was reading the study guide, this week, I was gut-checked by a pointed question: "Where in your heart do you need God to redeem the word father?" 2Tim 1:7 says "For God has not given us the Spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." As a child, my father gave me the opposite. He was the one who stole my confidence and safety and left me shrinking from my true identity and purpose.

As a parent, I can find no greater joy than in observing my children at play. My husband and I often joke, "Who needs TV?!" If you know my family, you know that we have five very unique children: an artist, a comedian, an athlete, a baby and a diva-in-training. Each one can spend hours deep in imagination, creating stories and songs as they laughingly express themselves. One day recently, my second son was changing the words to a song on the radio. The words bubbled out of his mouth with silly shrieks and giggles. For me, a stabbing pain ached in my heart. His fun game had brought a painful memory freshly to my mind.

One day, my father brought me along on an errand. When my dad took me somewhere, just him and I, it was very special to me. It made me feel wanted. As we drove in the car, the Beatles song "Imagine" came on the radio. My dad humorously changed the words into a hilarious parody. I wanted to join in! I started making up words too, and belting them out forcefully! But, I was only 5, and my words were far more goofy than glorious. Thinking we were having a great time, I got lost in song, only to be brought back by a sharp rebuke by my dad, "that's enough, SHUT UP!" His face looked disappointed and angry. Instantly, my wings were clipped, and I crashed back to a reality that would stick with me, "You are not clever or interesting. You are not worth being listened to. Don't trust your emotions. No one is really having fun with you."

Thankfully, my dad and I have experienced much healing, since those difficult years. But, I still need a father to tell me that I bring Him joy, and that His love for me is NOT unstable. It cannot be created or diminished by the way that I look, think, speak or behave. That is where God comes in. 1Jn 3:1 resounds, "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" I it so life giving to know that we have a God who not only loves us, but proved it by giving up everything.

May we all feel free to dance and sing without reservation or apology, before our heavenly Father and the world, declaring like David, "I will be even more undignified than this!"

Dance like no one is watching. Love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening. Live like it's heaven on earth.~